can i not take my pick

There are questions which one faces all the time. Regular run of the mill kind. But I never manage to have a clear answer for them. Everytime I fumble with the answer, I resolve to have one ready for next time, but the point is there is no one answer ever- either as the final well formulated one or even a concise one which can ward away further questions.

Like I never know how to answer which city I like better- delhi or chandigarh. ever since I moved to the latter, this has become my most feared question. (Only next to – where do I belong to 'originally', but I will come to that some other time.) It doesn’t help that most people who put this question belong to either one of the cities. The snooty delhite’s contempt for a small city mixed with sniggers about the panjabis or the proud chandigarhian’s inferiority complex (which is forever competing against delhi) who jumps to list its virtues and run down delhi. Every word, every expression of theirs holding out a challenge, inviting me and daring me not to counter.

I got so psyched I even made a table comparing the two. Here it is…

Delhi	Chandigarh
History, Monuments, big and small, famous and little-known everywhere	50 year old city, has erased all history and now seeking status as a ‘modern heritage city’.
Half an hour minimum, don’t even ask about the maximum	7 minutes to work, maximum half an hour drive to anywhere in the city
Autos, buses, metro- multiple options of transport within city limits. No such luck if you have to cross the border.	All this only with personal transport, appalling state of public transport- buses and autos included
The ridge, fast disappearing	At the foothill, the awesome view of Himalayas
Grand old parks, but depleting green belts	Parks and more parks, so much green but what about variation?
Lots of movie halls. Also film festivals, screenings in various fora	Only one multiplex, most slightly non-mainstream films don’t make it to the city, festivals few and far between.
Friends- old	Friends- new
Malls, malls everywhere…ugly glass buildings dotting the skyline	Only one still, but threatening to come up with more
A dead river	A lovely lake the administration is trying to kill but hasn’t succeeded as yet
Pollution	Delhi is the goal on pollution, trying to reach it soon. But can still see the stars. Full moon nights are bewitching.
Great libraries	Nothing outside the university for the academic but decent collection within
Academic activities keep happening, talks, seminars etc	Nothing outside the university, fewer of everything within

But this doesn’t say it all. For how can I describe what it means to know that I have entered delhi when I can smell the Azadpur landfill, to get down from the bus in ISBT, arguing with the autowallah who quotes double the meter fare and telling him, hey u cant mess with me cos I am from here, or crossing the stinking yamuna and the horrendous akhshardam on the way home, cursing everyone responsible for it. Can I describe the feeling of knowing that this is the place where I can hopelessly lose my way but will never feel lost. Can I explain why those run down monuments of the 12^th century mean so much?

At the same time, can I put into one answer what it means to have a home of my own. Explain what I feel when I am on my way back to chandigarh after a weekend and am on a rickshaw and give the chap directions, the feeling that I am giving directions to ‘my home’. Or why the sight of the mountains, especially on a clear day washed by rain, which looms ahead when I drive to work makes my day and lifts my spirits on a bad day.

I ‘come back home’ every time I enter delhi and every time I enter chandigarh. I own both. I criticise them both. I live in both places. Can I say all this when I am asked ‘which one is better’ or ‘which one I prefer’?